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  • Writer's pictureTeresa Prescott

There's no crying in baseball!

There are parents who might disagree with Tom Hanks iconic proclamation from the movie A League of Their Own, as they may have found themselves near tears when navigating extracurricular activities with their coparent and children.

It's already tricky when parents can't agree on extracurricular activities. Maybe mom wants her son in gymnastics because there are less males in the sport and she foresees how it may help him earn a college scholarship, while dad wants his son to play baseball like he did when he was in school, to keep the family tradition going. And the son, well, he wants to a creative writing class because sports just aren't his thing. Now, complicate this situation by the parents being in the midst of a divorce and you have a perfect storm.

When we assist parents in coming to agreements on child rearing issues as a part of their divorce, we encourage cooperation and most importantly, we ask them to concentrate of what their child desires first. When children have an activity where they can learn something new, get active or use their creativity in a different manner, they have another tool with which to cope with the difficulties of divorce. We have seen cases where a child absolutely loves baseball and as he gets older, has become more serious about playing. One parent wants the child to stay in baseball and follow it to his heart's content, while the other parent says the child will never play professionally so he should concentrate on something else. Both parents are clearly thinking of the best for their child.

For occasions such as these, we help parents agree to disagree. Parenting plans can be written to reflect that the parents agree to split the cost of extracurricular activities to which they both agree, while they will pay individually for extracurricular activities they want but the other parent may not. Further, we can include provisions that one parent's extracurricular activities with the child not infringe on timesharing with the other parent. It may seem small, but removing the ambiguity from these issues, we find that parents are able to better coparent their children. And then there can be less crying in baseball!

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